melly4260

I wonder sometimes if aging is ever graceful...I'm beginning to think not. I've been gone from here for a few years, even though I had the intention of uploading photos & writing more. I think being ill has caused me to get OUT of the house whenever I can. Which I have. Just afraid I'll miss something awesome. Of course the good 'ol pandemic didn't help. Depression, Anxiety about dying... Friends gone in 10 days. Dead. Gone. Because I live fairly rural, I CAN get out to shoot often, and our state hardly had any restrictions, so I did just that. I call it "actively dying", and before you say-"aw, hell we're all gonna go"... I know that. But there's something about it rushing up on you that kinda keeps you on pins & needles. Is it today? Is that heartburn or is this it? Sleeping with machines, Grabbing the inhaler when you're out of breath, Panicking because there's only 2 puffs left. It's harder than I thought it would be. I have great kids, and I'm happy & sad to be with

So many changes... I left my home in the mountains due to needing to be near medical care. I have the "unseen illness" of inflammatory arthritis. Inflammation is in my eyes, lungs, and on my skin. It seems that my body has objected to 3 of my major organs, and the likelihood of it objecting to more is inevitable. This, combined with arthritis and severe asthma factored into my decision to move. I'm refusing most conventional treatment, which includes drugs called "biologics". These drugs remove the immune system in order to "re-start" it in hopes that it will restart normally. The side-effects are bad, and can be catastrophic. For

I hit a physical peak early in 2016 & it's been downhill since. A form of glaucoma in the summer of 2016-"uveitis" or pressure/inflammation in the eye rendered me effectively blind for 4 months. Got it resolved in the fall, but have to use eye drops for life. This incident among other symptoms led to a rheumatologist who was baffled until the eye specialist diagnosed my disease. I was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis, an immune disorder. Inflammation is attacking my organs. Skin, eyes & lungs so far. My lungs are at 30% capacity, breathing is at a premium. Kind of like super asthma. I use a nebulizer & inhalers to breathe